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BMW’s Oxymoron: The Mini Clubman

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Aug 11th, 2008 by RJ Menezes

miniclubmanactf341500.jpg

The Mini Cooper has been the darling of 60’s British culture and thoroughly established itself as an icon. It was small practical, stylish, and  performed very well. In fact ask anybody who’s owned a Mini and they’ll tell you, these are drivers cars.

But alas, as crash standards got tougher and as other manufactures started making small performance cars, the Mini original Mini started to fade into the past. Only the most hardcore Mini fans still held the torch.  It seemed then that the Mini’s time had come and gone.

That’s how it seemed anyways, until German car manufacture BMW bought the rights to the Mini brand and started producing an updated modern Mini Cooper. BMW’s Mini was still in keeping with tradition. It was light (by today’s standards) quick, and a lot of fun to drive. The Mini was back, and now a whole new generation of fans could enjoy it.

But as these things tend to happen the Mini brand started to become diluted. Soon a convertible version of the Mini was roaming the streets and all the Mini loyalists were left scratching their heads. But now there’s a new Mini and it’s litteraly the anti-thesis of what a Mini is suppose to be about.

It’s called the Mini Clubman, and it’s a stretched and widened version of a regular Mini. Think of it as a Mini XL. This fact brings me to my point. If it’s the size of a regular sedan and it weighs almost 3,000 lbs then what makes it a Mini? Heck what makes it mini at all!?

Obviously BMW has built the Clubman ’cause they think they can sell them. But the Clubman goes against everything the Mini stands for. BMW has literally built an, ahem, American Mini. Apparently what Americans want is a Mini with enough room to carry a football team, and they want four doors, at least three.

This is ridiculous. The Mini Clubman is the oxymoron (and you can’t spell oxymoron without moron…) of the automotive world.  What’s next a Mini SUV?!? It’s already in the drawing boards and should be out next year. I’m not kidding….

miniclubmanactprf1500.jpg
Above: This is America remember? So super-size me please…. 


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